One of the most humbling experiences I've had recently is the Lord revealing to me that I don't have all the answers. Sometimes, I need to be broken down when my will and rebellion override His will and His sovereignty.
The weekend of my birthday, I attended our biannual Freedom Conference, knowing that the Lord has delivered me from many things, but also aware that spiritual warfare often follows. I was prepared for the challenges ahead, armed with the armor of God and confident in my ability to flee from the enemy's attacks. However, shortly after, a situation arose where I urgently needed guidance from the Lord. As I sought His answer, I subconsciously knew what it would likely be. It's like when you're a kid and you anticipate your dad saying no, so you try to rationalize why your idea is a good one. But when you end up in a difficult situation, you're left wishing you had simply accepted his initial answer and stayed home. That's exactly what I did - I approached the Father, but instead of waiting to lean on His understanding, I relied on my own.
When we think of spiritual warfare, we often think of stress, depression, or catastrophic events, but I believe spiritual warfare can be as simple as disobeying and doing what we want to do. Because the question is why do we think you know better than God? It's easy for the enemy to creep in and deceive us. And that's exactly what happened.
I had become comfortable with the knowledge I'd gained while strengthening my relationship with the Lord, and I thought I knew best in a certain situation. But I realized that when I ask Him for guidance, I don't always wait long enough to hear His response; instead, I do what I think is best.
Galatians 5:17
That's when the Lord stepped in and said, 'Aht not so fast!'A friend pointed out that this is where dying to self and taking up our cross daily comes in. I hadn't felt the weight of conviction in a while, but after wrestling with the discomfort that follows, I was grateful to serve a God who is gracious enough to see me, merciful enough to correct me, and willing to lead me to truth.
Even though this was a situation where I told myself, "I knew better," this is a crucial part of our walk with Jesus that should be emphasized more often. Although I stumbled, I gained wisdom and clarity, and my hope is to help others along the way from my experience.
Feeling like you've let the Lord down is discouraging, yet I take comfort in knowing that God delights in my willingness to listen, learn, and grow with an open heart.
While the enemy seeks to burden us with shame and remorse over our mistakes, the Lord honors our willingness to surrender and follow Him, even in the toughest moments. His grace is always available, and in these challenging times, we must take responsibility to:
- Confess our mistakes
- Repent and turn away from sin
- Remain open to His guidance